Investing in Excellence

As my friends would know, I would like to be a sports psychologist when i grow up (yes i'm still very young). Not the research kinda of psychologist. No way. I wanna be the inspirational guru, the one that gives the players the self belief of a lion fighting a deer!

I want to work with the players, preferably in secondary school and junior college, so as to help them harness the mental strength in them to compete against the best. Not only that, my skills will enable me to help them deal with the other challenges facing them, social pressures, recovery from injury and even planing their overall training program.

So yes, a sports psychologist is what i want to be.

I'm starting now.

I've enrolled myself in this course, Investment in Excellence, developed by The Pacific Institute. The former President of the Canadian Psychological Association calls their curriculum the best and most applicable use of psychology for the betterment of the human race. They collaborated with leading social and cognitive psychologist, Bandura and Seligman in for a program designed to raise your self image through positive self talk, affirmations and visualization.

I must say that the course is made of some very good stuff. The difficulty lies in assimilating all the great information into ones everyday life. Fortunately, there is lots of great take home matierial, including an audio CD with 5-10 minute tracks to keep you aware of the the way you think.

Think optimally, be a champion.

Anyway, today was the 3rd day of the course. Here's the gang. I'm the youngest amongst a group of very esteemed individuals. Listening to the introductions of these super successful individuals makes me very honored to be in their company, learning and sharing together. 

The tall guy on the right is one of the two people who brought the program to Singapore. Ray Jefferson, he lost his fingers while serving for the US commando forces a few years ago. As of 5 days ago, he got confirmed as an Assistant Minister for Barrack Obama. He's heading Obama's support for war veterans (who are the social group with the highest unemployment rate apparently), getting them retrained, off the streets and into good jobs. 

Amongst the others are Mckinsey Consultants, one of the head auditors of the Indonesian anti corruption division, the founder of Wand Inspiration yada yada yada. Coolness! 

So anyway, this course is the first in a series of 3 courses for me this summer. The second course ill be taking is PX2, basically something similar, designed for youth and sportsmen. Finally, ill be going for the PX2 facilitators course. Then ill be all legit to give talks and help improve the mental skills of youth! Pure awesomeness!

Whats the price im paying for all this? 6 weeks of my time serving Sara (the lady standing second from the right) as her free intern in her consulting/training company, Callahan Associates.

Doing things i've never done before

Ok so i have to say it.

Mac Rocks!

I'm doing things i've never done before, just cos its easy. 

In the first week i got my mac, I started editing my own small videos using iMovie. It took me all of 5 minutes. Last wednesday, i designed my first poster (see two post down) using Pages. Now i'm 1/2 way through building my own website. 

I remember always having to solicit the help of others for these things. But now i don't feel afraid of these task anymore. A lot more productive now!

Yeah! Go get a mac! 

Too bad there have been reports recently released off a new virus designed to hit the once impenetrable mac. I'm hoping its just some anti virus company trying to scare the growing population of mac users into buying their product.

The Lemon Law

Have you watched 'How I met your mother?'

I just watched episode 7 of season 1 today and Barney brought up something very interesting: The Lemon Law.

In some US states car users have apolicy when buying a used car. If the car they bought can be proven faulty they are entitled to return it for a refund. In short, it helps reduce the buying of 'Lemons', (makes me wonder if the Lemon mp3 players i saw in sim lim square years back still exist).

Barney, suggested applying Lemon Laws for dating. According to him, in the first five minutes of a date, one should have the right to 'apply the lemon law' to the other party and just walk off if he or she feels the date won't go as one hopes. It's all about first impressions.

As ridiculous as Barney really is, that policy actually makes some sense. One might call such a 'dating system' shallow but if you look at Malcom Gladwell's, 'Blink' (2000), we form impressions of someone within the first seconds of meeting the person. The study of social cognition places  a lot of effort explaining that very phenomenon. 

I think in most cases, the Lemon Law would lead to an accurate rejection of poorly matched dates. Unfortunately, the few potentially good matches that fail to make a first impression will simply go undiscovered.

SPB

Vesakhi passed a couple of days ago. I decided to bring my Macbook to good use by designing a SPB Vesakhi Greeting poster for all our friends, family, supporters and clients. I have to say it was really easy.  

The hard part was actually getting it to be part of the rich text in the email. I had to ask samantha to figure that one out for me. 

Anyone who knows me would attest that SPB has been one of the biggest parts of my life the last few years. Last year i was really tired from everything though and i would only go, not for the bhangra, but for the friends. But that has since changed after my 5 month 'rest' in the States. 

Apart from the needed break, i think we've been doing alot of things different this year. Practices are about fun now. We've made it simple and invited a host of random people to join us in our open sessions. The SPB Open sessions have made bhangra fun again. 

The only reason we could be so relaxed is because we've just been accepting less performances, doing mainly shows that truly excite us. The recent Punjabi Folk Music was fun and we simply cannot wait for this Sunday.

SPB will be performing at the Vesakhi Mela. The crowd there is just insane. Singapore is currently being build by an army of foreign workers. A huge portion of those foreign workers are Punjabis. They are all going to be at the mela and they are gonna be screaming and dancing when our music plays. It's gonna be truly electric. 

Once that is over, we'll be concentrating on some new developments. More details soon when things finalize. All i can say now is that there are going to be a lot of interesting changes. Exciting times ahead. 

Punjabi Music Revival

This guy is my new idol. What a wonderful fusion of east and west.

Click below to view: 

Challa by Rabbi Singh

Why do you try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? This quote was included in the SMU Student Association welfare package. I’m not sure what they were trying to achieve with it – perhaps reminding SMU students they were meant to be different – but it really stuck a chord with me.

 

Maybe i’m biased, but in Singapore – and most part of the developed world – you can’t get any more different wearing a turban on your head. Since the days in playschool, a Sikh kid would be the only one with something extra on his head. If my calculations are correct, the ratio of turbaned individuals to non turbaned individuals is 1:3000.

 

People enquire, tease and sometimes turn out right prejudice towards it. As a result, some Sikhs shy away and try their best to blend in.

 

Some choose to cut their hair – not in the disbelief of the religion – but in the fear of being different. Don’t get me wrong; I have no disdain over Sikhs that cut their hair because of a lack of interest/belief in religion/long hair. Everyone has the right to choose. I only experience a great heartache when Sikhs cut their hair because they want to fit in. The sad reality is that they never fit in with themselves. How can they fit in with others?

 

You were born to be different, why do you try to fit in? I say, embrace your difference young man! Use it to your advantage. Let yourself be recognized by your turban so everybody takes notice of you whenever you enter the room. Where impressions matter, you leave the biggest!

 

It is difficult. Yes, tell me about it. Keeping neat is hard. I struggle with that. I try, sometimes I get it horribly wrong, and I feel conscious about my looks. But if you actually dedicate sometime every morning to your appearance, you can make your turban and beard look perfect. Its just how much you are willing to put in the effort.

 

Embrace the challenge I say. Wear your turban proud. Wear it well. Stand confident of your appearance and your presence will radiate. When people see you comfortable in your own skin, different from the rest, they’ll respect you.

 

Our buses should be better

So the public transport review committee slapped fines on SBS and SMRT bus services yesterday. They listed a series of buses not up to standard in a couple of key areas

1. Operating above 95% capacity during peak hours
2. Keeping to arrival schedule

Mind you, operating above 95% capacity does not just refer to seating capacity. Standing room also comes into account here and this 95% is probably just enough so that you aren’t forced to smell the armpit of the person next to you as he or she holds on to the railing.

For a while it looked to me that transport companies in Singapore were getting out of hand. I believe they raised prices 3-4 times between 2006-2008? To me raising the price is warranted if the service improves.

Yes the service has improved. Bus Captains are friendlier. There are now buses equipped for wheelchairs. Most buses are air conditioned and they’ve even introduced a new more spacious fleet of single and double deck buses. The Iris system with the bus time has also been very helpful. To their credit, they did lower prices this year in view of the economic downturn.

Having been away recently, I do appreciate our transport system. It really deserves the credit it gets. But that being said, there still are a few things that totally irritate me.

Firstly, why on earth do single deck buses still run on popular routes? Many a times I’ve dealt with a single deck 14, packed like sardines on a Friday night. Firstlty, 14 takes an extremely popular route, covering Clementi, Orchard and all of Mountbatten and East Coast. Knowing that there is high demand, why on earth do they still use single decks – and on Friday night especially? I get on at Bras Basah and there have been many instances in which the buses simply do not stop because it’s just too crowded. Given their yearly profits, I’m sure they can afford to replace the peak hour single decks with a double – even if it’s not of the new spacious range.

Secondly, i’m sure everyone has experienced this before. You are tired after a long day and simply can’t wait to get home to the comforts of your bed/tv/computer. You wait what seems like an eternity for your bus and when you finally get on, you find it  moves at crawling pace. The only reason I can think of is that the bus went ahead of schedule in the earlier part of its journey and is trying to make up for it (and not be reprimanded for being ahead of schedule) by going as slow as possible in the later stage of its route.

Lastly, any cyclist or motorcyclist will tell you that being stuck in traffic behind a bus can reduce ones lung capacity substantially. It is a total anti climax to go for a ride one Sunday morning expecting clean air, only to get stuck behind a bus giving of such heinous fumes.  I seriously urge SBS, SMRT and their regulatory bodies to put in place measures ensure a significantly lower level of pollution is emitted from these big vehicles.

Alrighty, that’s enough of a rant from me. Time to resume my duties as a student and complete those darn reports!

Regrets

No regrets!’ so they say. How so? Is it even possible? To me it seems that one who claims he has no regrets at all must be blinded by idealisim – even by my standards!

Are you truly happy with every decision you’ve made, every thing you’ve said and all the things that you’ve done? What about the things you’ve not done?

I really wish I could say that. But right now, I truly cannot. I regret not talking to my grandfather when I had the chance. He’s dead now. Anyhow, I think I let the conversations run dry five years ago.

Like a selfish teen, I remember being bored as I sat next to him, thinking he had nothing to offer me. This was so unlike my days as a child where I would look forward to his ‘Jasbir Singh Ji’ and the chocolate that would soon follow (often an Almond Roca). As I grew older and caught up in my AC ways, I failed to realize the wisdom this man had.

I was unwise, failing to realize how much this warrior of a man had to offer. He may not have had the most money but wealthy he was. 5 children and countless grand and great grandchildren, he was loved by all within the communities in which he shared affiliations.

Now I wish I had spoken to him. What was it like in World War 2? What happened to the family during the partition of India? What was it like starting a business and building a family in post independence Malaya? How did you set up your business? And how did you feel watching the tears of LKY fall on national television, that faithful day in 1965?

Dear Papai,

Thank you for all the encouragement. Every time I shared my endeavors with you, you had great words for me. You gave me that big smile and the big palm on my back. In all your troubles you were stoic. May I be as strong as you. I pray that I grow as wise too. When my grandchildren enter their teens may they have the wisdom to cherish their old pop and not be as naïve as I once was.

Sat Sri Akaal

Driving my dad's car, i feel at ease. It is as if i've made it. Living a comfortable life, driving a the car of my choice, with the perfect sound system playing my favorite music. Life's struggles are over and I am just cruising. 

I was motivated by the need for catharsis rather than pure service as i volunteered for errand after errand. As i drove to Mustafa, Chiragh Din and then back to Meyer Park, the Bhangra Blasted loud as i sunk into the leather seats of the car I imagined to own trying to feel 'there' instead of being so truly here, dealing with deadlines, exams, competition and now, death. 

The focus is on my family now. I've never actually said that before. Family has always been number 3, maybe 4 on my agenda. This week at least, its number 1. It is time to step up.

Grandpa, affectionately known as 'Papai' or 'Popeye' left this morning. Finally i say. He's suffered long enough. For a man who only said good and did good, i cannot begin to understand why he suffered so much as his life drew to a close. 

Tomorrows obituary will read 'passed away peacefully' - that couldn't be farther from the truth. The only thing peaceful about his last 2 years was the moment of his death. I cling to a hope that his suffering was to clear his debt before going to heaven. Some accounts from previous lives must have been unsettled but God, seeing his great performance this life, really wanted him in heaven so he struck him a deal, 'suffer now and i'll wipe the slate clean.' The slate has never been so polished.

Grandma, or mom as everyone calls her, flipped the curtain as she approached his bed. Seeing her deceased love, she brought her palms together, raised them to her forehead and bowed her head in a final act of respect to the man she served all her life. And then the tears began to fall.